I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
