so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
