found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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