its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
