sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
