everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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