You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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