you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
