have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
