i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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