I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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