Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
