wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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