Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
