I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize