guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
