quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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