Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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