i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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