I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize