erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
