My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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