If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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