You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
