RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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