ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
