Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
