yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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