I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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