I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Bring me that man meat
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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