okay pat passed out under dana's car
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
