Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
