You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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