theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
