Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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