it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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