just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
