Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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