3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
