y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
