Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
