ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
someone owes me an orgasm
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
