id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
