Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
