I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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