I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
