you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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