you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
