Im at strip club and am horny
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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