i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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