Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
