I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
