Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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