he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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