Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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