It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
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I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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