yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
