I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
