but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
