Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
