But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
