Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
