I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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